I AM INSPIRED

​I am inspired

Written by Randy McPeek 

I am inspired by life, whatever you may conceive that to be.

The good, bad,ugly, and that murky “grey” area in between.

I wake up each morning, and think to myself “What will this day bring me?”

Will I experience happiness, laughter, sorrow, grief? Life comes with no guarantee.

At my job, I teach children to reach for their dreams. I encourage, and tell them “Don’t give up!”

I see their faces when they learn something new, and, it’s like nothing you could ever dream of.

People that I know and I talk to each day, teach me about love and sympathy.

Without them, I don’t think I would know what it is like to feel an ounce of empathy.

You see, I have been jaded by what I have seen, and felt, each day that I’ve been alive.

I can truthfully say that it’s all been worth it for a life that only I can symbolize.

If I had a choice on what inspired me, I don’t think I would change very much,you see.

My life path wasn’t really meant to inspire anyone else, but me.

 

Randy McPeek

My Mother’s Prayer

​My Mother’s Prayer

 Sitting at my mother’s side, I listen to her prayer.

“Dear Lord, please keep your hands upon me”. She thinks that I’m not there.

“I know my time on earth is short, and, I’m ready to come home.”

“I miss my husband; I’m tired of waiting, and, I feel so utterly alone.”

“My youngest daughter is also with you; please give her all my love.”

“It’s the memories of her that I miss most, and, her future I was deprived of.”

“Please watch over my precious grandchild. I worry about her so.”

“Give her strength when I’m not here. I want the best for her, you know.”

“Watch over my kids as they grow old, they are treasures to my heart.”

“I’d like to visit them in a dream, and tell them we are connected at the heart.”

 “I have tried to live my life the way that you would have wanted me to.”

“Although you know that I’m not perfect,and,I’ve made a mistake or two.”

“You have been my salvation, Lord, and savior to the end.”

“Prayer and faith have brought me through, I’ve grown to understand.”

“If you come for me this evening, my heart and soul will surely rejoice.”

“For I know there will be nothing sweeter than to hear these words come from your voice;

“Well done my faithful servant, you’ve served your purpose here on earth.”

“I have prepared a place for you beside me, and, it is one you have truly earned.”

 

Randy McPeek

Why don’t I hate you?

​why don’t I hate you 

Written by Randy McPeek 

Why don’t I hate you, after all you have done to me?

I have never known anyone who could destroy me so completely.

I was blinded by the false vows you made of a future;

Only to find out you were nothing but an abuser.
I had no warning,you just suddenly vanished;
Leaving me to question, and,my inner demons to vanquish. 
It took all I had not to curl up and die.
Instead I wrote down my feelings, and, gave permission cry.
In a letter addressed to you, I never sent;
I poured out my “Whys” until I was spent.
I acknowledged the future you told me was a lie.
It was time to let go, and, say my final goodbyes.
I struck a match, to burn my memories of you.
I watched the flames grow, and then it was through.

A piece of my heart died the day you left me alone.
I wondered how could someone have a heart made of stone.
I had to create my own ending to us.
I’m forever changed, and, I won’t be so quick to trust.
I hope that one day I am able to forgive you.
Because in doing that, I can reclaim what I most value.
Myself.

Randy McPeek

Tears of blood

​Tears of blood

written by Randy McPeek 

I think that I am fading away,
Tears of blood are here to stay.
I feel them as they they trickle down.
Washing away my theory of the person I knew,and, the love I thought we had found.

Our love was never what I thought it to be,
I realized my error too late.
My heart, and my soul were nothing but pawns in a sick, twisted, game you called “Fate”.

I devoured the lies that you told me, 
I believed in you from that first kiss.
Every word from you mirrored our synchronicity.
Who knew that deception,cloaked as true love, could manipulate and twist me like this.

When your mask came off,and I saw the truth 
so vile, I could no longer deny. 
I saw your cold eyes,and heard your cruel words blaming me,and I didn’t know why.

My kindness was evident,my intentions were pure,
but I ignored all the signs on the road.
All the hopes and the dreams that we talked of turned out to be nothing but fool’s gold.

My tears are now crimson,dark as my heart
I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Yet l still see a flicker,underneath the destruction, waiting for me to open the door.

By,

Randy McPeek

If I Could Go Back

If I Could Go Back

Written By Randy McPeek

If I could go back to the day we first met, I would have done something different that day.

I could have stayed home,and nursed back my voice. Remember things I hardly could say?.
My goals and my dreams would have stayed my main focus because I’d never left town.
By falling in love,the world I have known,changed me so much I have drowned.
The tears and the pain cut me so deep I thought my soul would curl up and die.
How could a love that I wanted so bad,make me question myself inside?

Was my love not enough? Didn’t I give you all that I had,and more?
You were the one in my heart,I thought,held the most promise. We had forever in store.
The telltale signs that something was wrong,my gut told me you drifted away. Nothing was wrong,you said I worried too much. Your intentions towards me hadn’t changed.

I can no longer ignore,or deny it,because you mean the world to me.
If I could go back to the day we first met, I’d take back that one day,you see.
If there is some reason, a lesson to be learned,I think that maybe its this;
love needs to be nurtured and cared for,not taken for granted like memories fading because they have no reason to exsist.

Randy McPeek

Someday I’ll Forget

​Someday I’ll Forget

Written by Randy McPeek 

I don’t want to go through this again, feeling the tears slide down my cheeks.

How else can I cope with this knife in my heart that I’ve felt for years, not weeks?

I’ve tried to forget all the memories inside, the ones that you knowingly put there.

I curse the tapes when they replay us, and a time that I believed that you cared.

The anticipation I felt at being with you was like nothing I’d felt before.

I remember your smile, the looks you gave; touched me and made my heart soar.

As I contemplate the whys, and the “what did I dos?” I can’t help think it was me.

If I’d loved you more, or looked different, then maybe you’d stop and you’d see…

My tenacity was nothing short of amazing, and you’d never known loyalty so deep.

Instead you tossed it away in the garbage, you must have thought my love was cheap.

My solace in losing your love is, now I’ll find someone who will cherish my heart.

The lesson I’ve learned is that I am worthy, my soul is unique; a work of art.

One day I’ll stop and realize that I haven’t missed you for a while.

That day I’ll know that I truly am free, and instead of tears falling, I’ll smile.

 Randy McPeek

 

Loves Power

Loves Power

Written by Randy McPeek

I believe in the power of what love can do,and the influence it has on a heart.
At first you hold back, putting on an appearance that you’re in control and your smart.

What you don’t know is love has no brain, therefore your plan to stay aloof
Is nothing more than halfhearted attempt to resist the feeling that love can produce.

It’s effect on you is one of extreme pleasure,you never want it to end.
You body becomes a slave to the feeling. Without it,into hell you’ll descend.

What was once an emotion you believed you could manage, turns out to be managing you.
If you’d been warned that your mind didn’t matter, tell me,what would you do?.

When you’re in love with that someone you’ll stay to the end, whenever that may be.
In love you give out your heart and soul to somebody, hoping they will see.

That pure love is rare,a gift only a few beautiful souls will possess.
Words can be empty,but love can be felt with every kiss,touch and caress.
Randy McPeek

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I Dreamt Of You

​I Dreamt Of You

Last night I had a dream about you. We were together, as in the beginning
I was the Bonnie to your Clyde. Our laughter left my head spinning.

We talked about plans for our future. It felt so natural and right.

Your voice was music to my own. We spoke of love’s promise all night.

I remembered how it felt to love you. Your smile when you looked my way.
My heart became yours forever. Our love I would never betray.

I beamed when you called me “Baby”. No, there was not any pain in my dream.

In my dream our love was pure. Anxiety was foreign, I felt serene.

We sat so close, and held hands. In my dream, we celebrated each other.
I thought I’d found my soul mate. You were my confidant, friend, and lover.

I thought to myself “This has to be real”. My senses remembered each nuance.

The touch of your skin, the smell of your scent. Yet, it was love that had the preponderance.

When woke up, I shut my eyes tight .I wanted back into my dream.
I saw you fading,taking our love. Then came the anguish so deep and extreme.

When I finally realized that it wasn’t real, I cried out, but you weren’t there.

You broke my heart, it was then that I knew.

My dream was really a nightmare.
Randy Mcpeek

Shall we dance

​Shall We Dance?

Shall I dance with you knowing again what will happen, if I dare?

Do I welcome you with my arms spread open, and curl my fingers through your dark hair?

This dance with you I remember so well because it ended with me all alone.

I was embracing the man I thought was my knight, only your heart turn out to be made of stone.

Around and around we twirled to the music, you whispered my name oh so sweet.

The promises made and the dreams we shared left me dizzy, and my defenses, weak.

I laid my head upon shoulder, and closed my eyes, feeling the rhythm of love.

The music was perfect and we danced as one, our bodies fit together like a glove.

Then it changed, I remember the pain when you stopped dancing with me.

I opened my eyes and you weren’t there, and I wondered why I didn’t see.

I was only a fancy, someone who caught your interest, for just a dance or two.

I had to dance by myself and learn to love me, starting over again without you.

Then again you appeared standing, looking at me with those eyes beckoning to dance.

I have only known pain in being with you, there was only the beginning romance.

It hurts me still because my love was boundless and my intentions of us were forever.

I’m sorry, my love, I know that I can’t dance with the devil and expect to feel pleasure.

I have discovered this truth; that it’s only myself I can dance with and be free.

The one person who really wanted me happy the whole time we danced wasn’t you, but me…

 

Randy McPeek

 

Farewell to a friend

​Farewell to a friend
A friend of mine told me she was moving to New Mexico.

I told her I was happy, and, I secretly envied the fact that she could go.

I went to buy her a gift, along with a card to wish her luck.

Then I sat in my car realizing that a part of my life would disrupt.

The tears started to fall, as I thought of the times we spent together.

My friend was leaving, and she never judged me. Her words of wisdom would always be treasured.

Caught by surprise at my show of emotion, I signed her card and tucked it away.

Hoping that she would understand what I had written, and, tried my best to convey.

The realization that nothing is permanent, everything changes somehow.

Makes me both grateful, and sad, because of what life doesn’t always allow.

People we get to know, and to trust; well they too have a path they must follow.

Knowing you need to let go, and wish them the best, is a bitter pill we all have to swallow.

I hope that she knows that, because I knew her, I will always know this;

God made a diamond, and she shines more brightly than many I’ve known to exist.

 

Randy McPeek